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Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles from Janet Schlarbaum
By Janet Schlarbaum | September 12, 2009
Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles - Do You Know Where You’re Going
Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles from Janet Schlarbaum By Dr. Toni LaMotta
Article selected and published by Janet Schlarbaum.
Are you living your life’s dream right now? Women, midlife can be the age of miracles for you. If you are not yet living your dream but are still alive? There’s still time!
Victor Hugo once said “Each one should frame his life so that at some future hour fact and his dreamings meet.”
There is a story told that years ago, while unearthing an ancient Egyptian tomb, an archaeologist came upon seeds buried in a piece of wood. When they were planted, the seeds realized their potential after more than 3,000 years!
There are seeds of possibility in all of us still. Allow yourself some waking DREAMING… what do you see for yourself?
It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me how we create every aspect of our lives - and when we get truly alert - or conscious, we begin to see how we get to SEE in life only that which we have already SEEN in mind..
Do you know where you’re going to?
You’re going wherever you SEE yourself going…
Take time this week - randomly set an alarm during the day - and when it goes off ask -
is what I’m doing right now taking me where I want to go?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
It’s showing you what you were able to see in the past.
If you don’t like what you are seeing - Start SEEING it differently.. Scripture tells us - without a vision, the people perish… Without knowing where you are going - you’ll dissipate the energy on things that are meaningless…
How do you see yourself? Where do you see yourself in a year? What are you doing? Who are you being? In 5 years? And ultimately - what’s your REAL AIM in life? Women in midlife have the perfect opportunity to ask these questions.
SPEND Time EVERY day picturing what you would have your life to be…
-Create Treasure Maps if you’re visual -
-Tell yourself if your auditory…
-Test drive the car if your kinesthetic
You KNOW to do these things– are you doing them? And,
If not, why not?
You probably have about one third of a lifetime - at least - left. Don’t let being a woman in midlife stop you.
This truly can be your age of miracles.
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Ten Tips for Anger Management
By Janet Schlarbaum | August 27, 2009
Most people have a problem with anger these days. Maybe it’s because there are so many demands on us and our mind gets pulled in many directions on a daily basis making it difficult to keep a peaceful mind.
So what practical steps can we do to help us remain more in control of our mind and maintain more peace? Here are ten time-tested techniques for effective anger management:
1. Reverse the Feelings
This is a very interesting method that was discovered by Dr. Richard Bandler. It works on the fact that to experience feelings such as anger you will feel feelings moving in your body somewhere: Feelings are never static or stationary.
Begin by thinking of an occasion where you experienced anger.
A. Become aware of where those feelings are in your body. Where does the feeling start and where does it go?
B. Now take the feeling and push it out a couple of feet in front of you. (I know this sounds weird. Just act as if you can do it, because you can.)
C. Turn it inside out and spin it the other way and bring it back inside. If it helps, pretend you can do it and so it is!
D. Keep it spinning fast whilst imagining doing the thing that used to make you feel anger.
2. ‘Micky Mouse’ those Critical, Angry Voices!
A. Think of that internal voice you sometimes get that is overly critical of yourself and others. You know the one!
B. Listen to it go on and on as you change it into a cartoon voice. How does your reaction to it change by hearing it in the voice of Porky Pig? Silvester The Cat? Daffy Duck?
C. Try speeding the voice up or slowing it down.
D. Have fun with this.
Imagine several future situations that this critical voice may arise and imagine ‘Micky Mouse-ing’ the voice in that situation.
3. Positive intention?
A. Think of an occasion where you got angry.
B. Ask yourself, “What was the positive intention behind the anger?” And then ask, “and what was important about that?” Keep asking the question until you discover a genuine positive intention.
C. “In the future how can I express this intention in a better way?”
4. Disassociation
A. Remember an experience where you got a bit irritated.
B. Now disassociate so you can see yourself in the experience.
C. Push the picture further off into the distance. So you literally “get some distance from it,” and have a new perspective!
D. Notice how you can now look at the experience more objectively and gain new understanding and insights. And what happens if you were to ask yourself, “What was the positive intention of myself and the other people involved?”
5. Double Disassociation
This is the same as the above technique with another added disassociation:
You imagine watching yourself watching that you in the situation.
You got to give this a go, it’s really amazing, you can even reduce that most retched of emotions, jealousy, with this simple visualisation!
6. Patience for the Future
Just think any time we get angry it’s due to a trigger or stimulus. There is a gap between the stimulus and our response. It’s in this gap that we choose our response. Often though it happens quickly. Automatically.
We can ‘re-train’ our minds to have a more appropriate response that will enable us to be more resourceful.
A. What’s it like when you experience a feeling of patience? Remember a time that you patiently accepted what ever was happening. What did you see, what did you hear and how did that feel?
Notice how the feelings move.
B. Think of 3 future situations where it would be likely that you would experience annoyance or irritation.
C. What is it that you see or hear just before you know when to feel the agitation?
D. OK shake that feeling off and now remember the feeling of patience from step A
E. Now imagine taking this feeling of patience into those future situations.
How’s that feel?
7. Reframing a Picture Literally
A. Remember an occasion where you got angry.
B. Disassociate: See your self in the picture.
C. Now put a frame around the picture.
How does your response to the situation change when you put a wooden frame around it? What about a metal frame? A multi-coloured frame. An oval frame? How about a colourful frame with balloons hanging from it?
8. Perceptual positions
It’s always useful to gain other perspectives on things. More often than not, when we’re angry we are stuck in one perceptual position.
A. Remember an experience where you were angry with someone.
B. Notice what you saw and heard and felt.
C. Now step into there shoes: Pretend to see through there eyes, hear through there ears and feel the feelings. Notice that you in front of you. What else can you discover and learn from this perspective?
D. Imagine stepping into a ‘neutral observer.’ So you can simply observe that you and the other person over there. What can you learn from this position?
E. Step back into ‘you’ again and notice what new learnings and insights you now have. Chances are good that you now have more understanding and empathy with the other person.
9. Collapsing Anchors
A. Select an angry feeling you want to change. As you feel it squeeze your finger and thumb on your left hand to anchor this state.
B. On an intensity scale of 0 to 10, where is this feeling?
C. Break state. Now think about what you would like to feel instead. What would make you remain in a more resourceful state? Relaxation? Humour? Etc.
D. Now choose one of the resourceful states you have come up with and remember a time you felt that resource strongly. What does this resourceful state feel like?
E. Remembering that resourceful state, anchor it to your right hand by squeezing your finger and thumb together. (If you want you can stack resources together by going to step 4 again and anchoring a different resource state.)
F. On an intensity scale of 0 to 10, where is this feeling? Important: Make sure that this resourceful feeling is more intense than the angry feeling.
G. Break state. Now squeeze your left hand finger and thumb anchor, hold it, at the same time as you squeeze the right hand finger and thumb anchor. Keep both anchors on for a few seconds, say 7 seconds. (Note: Many people get a sense when the anchors have ‘collapsed’ or integrated, often by a noticeable shift in breathing.)
H. Release the left hand anchor and just hold the right hand anchor for a couple of seconds.
I. Break state. Now think of the original fear you selected in step 1 and become aware of how it’s changed!
10. Circus/Cartoon Movie Music
A. Think of a memory or a future situation where you want to lighten the mood.
B. Look at it like a movie so you can see yourself whilst hearing loud circus (or cartoon) music in the background.
C. Run the movie backwards, from the end, with the music playing loudly.
D. Now notice how your mood has lightened about the situation you choose in Step 1.
Why not do this on several memories and/or future events?
If you have applied some of the techniques, above, you will have re-programmed some of your ‘bad habits’ and can look forward to a more peaceful, anger managed future! And the great thing about many of these tools is that you can use them right away and experience effective results within minutes.
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Self Motivation - 5 Minutes with Janet Schlarbaum Today
By Janet Schlarbaum | August 18, 2009
Self Motivation - 5 Minutes to Get Motivated and Accomplish Something Meaningful Today
Self Motivation - 5 Minutes with Janet Schlarbaum Today By Bettina Langerfeldt.
Are you tired of feeling that you are losing your time in unnecessary business? Are you frustrated after finishing your day with a sense that you haven’t accomplished a thing?
Many of us are so caught up in our daily routine that we don’t even consider the remote possibility of getting passionate about what we do.
Here are 5 simple steps that will help you organize your day and get motivated again to accomplish something that is meaningful to you:
1. Make a list of all the things you would enjoy doing today. Yes, not a regular to-do list, but a list of dreams and goals you have always left for some day when you would finally have time. Think of your strengths and talents you’ve always wanted to develop. Write down that course you were going to take one day, or that book you thought you would write once you grew up. Lay out a step-by-step plan to accomplish this goal by doing a little bit every day and determine to start today.
2. Now you write down a list of what you have to do today. These are your daily duties you are responsible for. Don’t put too much on that list, it will overwhelm you and ultimately lead to frustration. If there is a bigger task you need to accomplish, divide it into little bites and determine to deal with them during several days.
3. Do the second list first. Rank the items on your list according to their urgency and importance. If you are constantly leaving your duties for later, they will lurk like a dark cloud over everything you do during your day. While you are in what might feel like your daily treadmill, motivate yourself by thinking of the fun stuff you will do later.
4. Start checking the items you have already done. This will give you a marvelous feeling of accomplishment. There is no way around our daily duties, but we should celebrate a bit to feel satisfied once they are accomplished.
5. Now you can dedicate time to your first list without a bad conscience. You can finally start developing in that area you never had the time for. And there is nothing more fulfilling than getting on with what God has put in your heart to do.
If you do this each day, you will not only accomplish your daily duties efficiently, but you will also have made the important step of taking the time to pursue your dreams consistently.
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You Killed Your Motivation from Janet Schlarbaum
By Janet Schlarbaum | August 13, 2009
You Killed Your Motivation
You Killed Your Motivation from Janet Schlarbaum By: Tan Glenn
If you’re reading this, you should be keen to boost your motivation. Are you? Spot on, I’ll start of with one simple thing and that is motivation is not a one-time process. Its not something in which you are boosted one day and it will last a life time.
No.
It’s a constant process. You need to feed yourself everyday just like to feed the nuggets of inspiration and motivation each day.
Many people do not constantly live their life in a tip-top level of coming out of bed and feeling great each day and wanting to make their lives the best of it all.
So how do we actually not kill your motivation or rather slap yourself with all the positive stuff all day.
You killed your motivation without knowing. Start with something small first and yet reap big benefits later.
Wake up each day and think, “What can I do today that others don’t so that I can achieve what others can’t tomorrow?” Think about it.
You see the mind works such that we need to constantly keep pounding ourselves with such instigating information that will help make us motivated.
If you have not been doing the necessary motivation, you have been missing the many things that you could have improved your life so much more. Imagine the opportunity cost that you have incurred in your personal life!
What I want to get across to you is that by helping yourself in just a few minutes a day of motivation could help you in the long run. Hence, it’s important to learn to keep empowering your life in one way or another to achieve greater things.
To enable the individual to start the motivation engine and fill up with “fuel” is by all means getting the motivational resources up to you. However, start the basic with your thinking – positive.
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Janet Schlarbaum Tips on How to Achieve It
By Janet Schlarbaum | August 12, 2009
Total Dependence on You, Tips on How to Achieve It
Janet Schlarbaum Tips on How to Achieve It By Chinweike Okwuduche.
Human Beings by nature enjoy seeing other people depend on them. Even a new born baby would be happy seeing some people depend on him/her. The irony there is that in as much as people love to gain other peoples’ total dependence/submission, all are not willing to pay the price attached to this great status. While the price might be too high for some people to pay, to some, it is much cheaper than the price of being dependent (by this article, am sure you are in the later class).
So if you are among the later category, read on for this article is for you. Making other people depend on you is much more easier than you ever imagined. The whole art is summed up in a phrase “Learning and Sacrificing to meet other peoples’ need”. I found this to be true while in the University. I spent most of my time learning something new to teach my friends and also sacrificing my comfort for other peoples’ pleasure. It hurt at the initial stage but I later come to term with it.
The joy that I derived from seeing people genuinely depend on me greatly outweighed the initial sufferings. Below are the qualities that you must posses to make people depend on you without limit: Thick skin to the temptation of immediate self gratification: This may sound too obvious but this is one area where many people get it all wrong. Getting people to have trust in you takes a lot. So much immediate gratification has to be foregone. This will put you in a position to reach out to more people with the little resources at your disposal. Be a good learner: In this our present time, learners has finally come to inherit the world. learning so much will put you in a position to have something (knowledge) of value that people can tap from. Statistics has shown that people tend to get closer to those that has something new to give to them at all times. Be a helper:
Always be on the look out to take “advantage” of opportunity to help people. This will not only make people have confidence in you but will also make them LOVE you and this in turn will bring you peace of mind that money cannot buy. Ziglar summed it all up in his his Golden rule philosophy ” You will get all the things you need if you can just help enough people get what they want”. Be a good listener: People appreciate you more when they realise that you have a good listening ear. This will act as a bait that will always bring them to your door step whenever they have problem. You understand peoples’ predicament when you listen to them and this in turn will make you give appropriate help (advise wise or material wise). Be compassionate: Compassionate heart will no doubt make you have feelings for your fellow human beings. A compassionate heart is the power house of “help and goodness”.
If you want people to trust in you, demonstrate to them that you have heart large enough to accommodate their problems. Compassionate heart will give you that “Large heart”. Be a “good-finder”: The society we live in today has made it almost impossible for people to be good. “Nice guys don’t survive” is the reigning slang. I can say it without mixing words that you will get people to have total confidence in you if they discover you are a good-finder and not a fault-finder. Have a forgiving spirit: We all err at one time or the other. As a matter of fact, we cannot live our life here on planet earth without offending people or people offending us. What matters is our ability to quickly throw whatever wrong that people must have done to to us behind and position our self to help them if need be. I can almost assure you that people will come to love and trust you if the find out you have a forgiving heart. Though some people may want to take advantage of this character but never mind.
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