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Janet Schlarbaum Goals
By Janet Schlarbaum | April 2, 2010
Tips For Motivation and Goals
By Irsan Kao
Article recommended by Janet Schlarbaum.
What kind of goal motivates you? Maybe if you aim for a “big” goal, then you can easily adjust it to the specific situation you are in. However, if the “big” goal is too far-off to achieve, then you can become discouraged. What is meant by a “big” goal of course is a goal that has an overall outlook.
These goals must be challenging. If you truly appreciate the importance of your goals, then you can be easily motivated. But remember, these “big” broad goals must be identified with their parts. You have to “break” apart these huge goals into manageable pieces. This can keep you from having a nervous break down, since if you focus only on the broad goal, you can be overwhelmed more easily.
Once you have broken your goal/goals, then, you can start identifying the steps to achieve these. Whenever there are problems that keep you from achievement, then these steps will guide on how to face the problem head on. A time period is also essential to taking these steps. With perseverance, your motivation will lead you to achievement.
For instance, if you want to pay all your debts, you have to ascertain the steps to attain that goal of paying your debts. You may want to set aside a certain amount for each month in order to pay off your debt in a way that you can assess your progress. Of course, the steps must be carefully aligned to this one goal. If you have other goals, construct other steps to achieve them.
You can also choose to reward yourself. Small rewards will do-like a meal in your favorite restaurant for example, every time you have fulfilled a certain step towards your goal. Of course, once the big goal is achieved, then you can prepare yourself for a big reward. Rewards are ones of the oldest and most effective ways of motivating oneself. You have to imagine rewarding yourself in order to successfully motivate yourself with this technique.
Do not underestimate small rewards. Sometime you may be too hard on yourself. When you reward yourself, you are telling yourself that each step is vital for the attainment of your goal. An obvious example is that if you have eaten healthily for a week, then at the end of the week you can reward yourself with the most delicious and healthy meal you like. Small rewards can do wonders-and they motivate you towards your goal.
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Janet Schlarbaum Life Changing Motivations
By Janet Schlarbaum | April 1, 2010
The Motivation to Change
By Nancy Lowery
“Make the right thing easy.”
A simple statement made to thousands of people over fifty years. A lifelong student of horse behaviour, Ray Hunt was looking for a way to help people better understand how to motivate a horse. He simply wanted the horse to end up with a better deal.
Ray Hunt believed that a horse had no concept of winning or losing so a bigger reward for a better performance held no meaning. He spent his life trying to convince people they could overcome their own functional fixedness, of making a horse do something, by understanding the power of their horse’s desire to perform, producing a more rewarding experience for both. Hunt’s goal, was to help people see the motivation for the horse must be intrinsic.
A student of motivating people, Daniel Pink, puts some compelling thoughts forward on intrinsic and extrinsic reward in his book Drive. Pink explores how the carrot and stick method, built into our behaviour from time out at age two, to grades in school, to how much we earn at work-no longer applies. He argues that extrinsic reward is an outdated notion from a time when mechanical tasks were more important than cognitive abilities. A functional fixedness the business environment suffers from, unable to see the problem of workplace motivation from a different perspective. A belief that behavioural scientists and horsemen like Hunt have known for years.
We use the carrot and stick metaphor in working with horses, it is also a tool we offer participants. The tool is stick with a string on the end. To some it immediately represents a whip. Depending on how it is wielded, it quickly becomes that to the horse and rarely produces better results. To others, it becomes an extension of their arm and they soon see how effective a support tool can be to communicate. A few choose to abandon the defined parameters and the narrow focus the tool sets up for them to see what they can achieve without it. When that happens these individuals have to reframe how they might define and communicate their expectations where the relationship with the horse becomes more important than their own success. This simple act puts into place a behaviour of intrinsic value versus extrinsic reward.
Paying attention to what motivates the horse allows participants the opportunity to see where their own perspectives or functional fixedness may be getting in their way of recognizing those who work with them. As the notion of reward is changing, how we build teams and produce results also must change – managing others no longer carries the same meaning it had in a production line environment, leading others to be successful does.
In summary, what Pink takes an entire book to express is exactly what Ray Hunt put in a single sentence. “Make the right thing easy.”
Article placed by Janet Schlarbaum
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Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles from Janet Schlarbaum
By Janet Schlarbaum | September 12, 2009
Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles – Do You Know Where You’re Going
Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles from Janet Schlarbaum By Dr. Toni LaMotta
Article selected and published by Janet Schlarbaum.
Are you living your life’s dream right now? Women, midlife can be the age of miracles for you. If you are not yet living your dream but are still alive? There’s still time!
Victor Hugo once said “Each one should frame his life so that at some future hour fact and his dreamings meet.”
There is a story told that years ago, while unearthing an ancient Egyptian tomb, an archaeologist came upon seeds buried in a piece of wood. When they were planted, the seeds realized their potential after more than 3,000 years!
There are seeds of possibility in all of us still. Allow yourself some waking DREAMING… what do you see for yourself?
It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me how we create every aspect of our lives – and when we get truly alert – or conscious, we begin to see how we get to SEE in life only that which we have already SEEN in mind..
Do you know where you’re going to?
You’re going wherever you SEE yourself going…
Take time this week – randomly set an alarm during the day – and when it goes off ask -
is what I’m doing right now taking me where I want to go?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
It’s showing you what you were able to see in the past.
If you don’t like what you are seeing – Start SEEING it differently.. Scripture tells us – without a vision, the people perish… Without knowing where you are going – you’ll dissipate the energy on things that are meaningless…
How do you see yourself? Where do you see yourself in a year? What are you doing? Who are you being? In 5 years? And ultimately – what’s your REAL AIM in life? Women in midlife have the perfect opportunity to ask these questions.
SPEND Time EVERY day picturing what you would have your life to be…
-Create Treasure Maps if you’re visual -
-Tell yourself if your auditory…
-Test drive the car if your kinesthetic
You KNOW to do these things– are you doing them? And,
If not, why not?
You probably have about one third of a lifetime – at least – left. Don’t let being a woman in midlife stop you.
This truly can be your age of miracles.
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Ten Tips for Anger Management
By Janet Schlarbaum | August 27, 2009
Most people have a problem with anger these days. Maybe it’s because there are so many demands on us and our mind gets pulled in many directions on a daily basis making it difficult to keep a peaceful mind.
So what practical steps can we do to help us remain more in control of our mind and maintain more peace? Here are ten time-tested techniques for effective anger management:
1. Reverse the Feelings
This is a very interesting method that was discovered by Dr. Richard Bandler. It works on the fact that to experience feelings such as anger you will feel feelings moving in your body somewhere: Feelings are never static or stationary.
Begin by thinking of an occasion where you experienced anger.
A. Become aware of where those feelings are in your body. Where does the feeling start and where does it go?
B. Now take the feeling and push it out a couple of feet in front of you. (I know this sounds weird. Just act as if you can do it, because you can.)
C. Turn it inside out and spin it the other way and bring it back inside. If it helps, pretend you can do it and so it is!
D. Keep it spinning fast whilst imagining doing the thing that used to make you feel anger.
2. ‘Micky Mouse’ those Critical, Angry Voices!
A. Think of that internal voice you sometimes get that is overly critical of yourself and others. You know the one!
B. Listen to it go on and on as you change it into a cartoon voice. How does your reaction to it change by hearing it in the voice of Porky Pig? Silvester The Cat? Daffy Duck?
C. Try speeding the voice up or slowing it down.
D. Have fun with this.
Imagine several future situations that this critical voice may arise and imagine ‘Micky Mouse-ing’ the voice in that situation.
3. Positive intention?
A. Think of an occasion where you got angry.
B. Ask yourself, “What was the positive intention behind the anger?” And then ask, “and what was important about that?” Keep asking the question until you discover a genuine positive intention.
C. “In the future how can I express this intention in a better way?”
4. Disassociation
A. Remember an experience where you got a bit irritated.
B. Now disassociate so you can see yourself in the experience.
C. Push the picture further off into the distance. So you literally “get some distance from it,” and have a new perspective!
D. Notice how you can now look at the experience more objectively and gain new understanding and insights. And what happens if you were to ask yourself, “What was the positive intention of myself and the other people involved?”
5. Double Disassociation
This is the same as the above technique with another added disassociation:
You imagine watching yourself watching that you in the situation.
You got to give this a go, it’s really amazing, you can even reduce that most retched of emotions, jealousy, with this simple visualisation!
6. Patience for the Future
Just think any time we get angry it’s due to a trigger or stimulus. There is a gap between the stimulus and our response. It’s in this gap that we choose our response. Often though it happens quickly. Automatically.
We can ‘re-train’ our minds to have a more appropriate response that will enable us to be more resourceful.
A. What’s it like when you experience a feeling of patience? Remember a time that you patiently accepted what ever was happening. What did you see, what did you hear and how did that feel?
Notice how the feelings move.
B. Think of 3 future situations where it would be likely that you would experience annoyance or irritation.
C. What is it that you see or hear just before you know when to feel the agitation?
D. OK shake that feeling off and now remember the feeling of patience from step A
E. Now imagine taking this feeling of patience into those future situations.
How’s that feel?
7. Reframing a Picture Literally
A. Remember an occasion where you got angry.
B. Disassociate: See your self in the picture.
C. Now put a frame around the picture.
How does your response to the situation change when you put a wooden frame around it? What about a metal frame? A multi-coloured frame. An oval frame? How about a colourful frame with balloons hanging from it?
8. Perceptual positions
It’s always useful to gain other perspectives on things. More often than not, when we’re angry we are stuck in one perceptual position.
A. Remember an experience where you were angry with someone.
B. Notice what you saw and heard and felt.
C. Now step into there shoes: Pretend to see through there eyes, hear through there ears and feel the feelings. Notice that you in front of you. What else can you discover and learn from this perspective?
D. Imagine stepping into a ‘neutral observer.’ So you can simply observe that you and the other person over there. What can you learn from this position?
E. Step back into ‘you’ again and notice what new learnings and insights you now have. Chances are good that you now have more understanding and empathy with the other person.
9. Collapsing Anchors
A. Select an angry feeling you want to change. As you feel it squeeze your finger and thumb on your left hand to anchor this state.
B. On an intensity scale of 0 to 10, where is this feeling?
C. Break state. Now think about what you would like to feel instead. What would make you remain in a more resourceful state? Relaxation? Humour? Etc.
D. Now choose one of the resourceful states you have come up with and remember a time you felt that resource strongly. What does this resourceful state feel like?
E. Remembering that resourceful state, anchor it to your right hand by squeezing your finger and thumb together. (If you want you can stack resources together by going to step 4 again and anchoring a different resource state.)
F. On an intensity scale of 0 to 10, where is this feeling? Important: Make sure that this resourceful feeling is more intense than the angry feeling.
G. Break state. Now squeeze your left hand finger and thumb anchor, hold it, at the same time as you squeeze the right hand finger and thumb anchor. Keep both anchors on for a few seconds, say 7 seconds. (Note: Many people get a sense when the anchors have ‘collapsed’ or integrated, often by a noticeable shift in breathing.)
H. Release the left hand anchor and just hold the right hand anchor for a couple of seconds.
I. Break state. Now think of the original fear you selected in step 1 and become aware of how it’s changed!
10. Circus/Cartoon Movie Music
A. Think of a memory or a future situation where you want to lighten the mood.
B. Look at it like a movie so you can see yourself whilst hearing loud circus (or cartoon) music in the background.
C. Run the movie backwards, from the end, with the music playing loudly.
D. Now notice how your mood has lightened about the situation you choose in Step 1.
Why not do this on several memories and/or future events?
If you have applied some of the techniques, above, you will have re-programmed some of your ‘bad habits’ and can look forward to a more peaceful, anger managed future! And the great thing about many of these tools is that you can use them right away and experience effective results within minutes.
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Self Motivation – 5 Minutes with Janet Schlarbaum Today
By Janet Schlarbaum | August 18, 2009
Self Motivation – 5 Minutes to Get Motivated and Accomplish Something Meaningful Today
Self Motivation – 5 Minutes with Janet Schlarbaum Today By Bettina Langerfeldt.
Are you tired of feeling that you are losing your time in unnecessary business? Are you frustrated after finishing your day with a sense that you haven’t accomplished a thing?
Many of us are so caught up in our daily routine that we don’t even consider the remote possibility of getting passionate about what we do.
Here are 5 simple steps that will help you organize your day and get motivated again to accomplish something that is meaningful to you:
1. Make a list of all the things you would enjoy doing today. Yes, not a regular to-do list, but a list of dreams and goals you have always left for some day when you would finally have time. Think of your strengths and talents you’ve always wanted to develop. Write down that course you were going to take one day, or that book you thought you would write once you grew up. Lay out a step-by-step plan to accomplish this goal by doing a little bit every day and determine to start today.
2. Now you write down a list of what you have to do today. These are your daily duties you are responsible for. Don’t put too much on that list, it will overwhelm you and ultimately lead to frustration. If there is a bigger task you need to accomplish, divide it into little bites and determine to deal with them during several days.
3. Do the second list first. Rank the items on your list according to their urgency and importance. If you are constantly leaving your duties for later, they will lurk like a dark cloud over everything you do during your day. While you are in what might feel like your daily treadmill, motivate yourself by thinking of the fun stuff you will do later.
4. Start checking the items you have already done. This will give you a marvelous feeling of accomplishment. There is no way around our daily duties, but we should celebrate a bit to feel satisfied once they are accomplished.
5. Now you can dedicate time to your first list without a bad conscience. You can finally start developing in that area you never had the time for. And there is nothing more fulfilling than getting on with what God has put in your heart to do.
If you do this each day, you will not only accomplish your daily duties efficiently, but you will also have made the important step of taking the time to pursue your dreams consistently.
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